– Sweet intro, so this game is basically Mega Man?

– Is “The Guy” Ryan Reynolds? He seems like he would be “The Guy,” right?

– Where did a 15 year old get a gun?

– Isn’t this game supposed to be hard? This looks like Lode Runner.

– What the fuck?

– How long did this death/explosion animation take?

– Alright, got it, going up is the right way, isn’t it?

– Who the fuck had the idea of apples that can fall upwards?

– Does Issac Newton know about this?

– Who would make this game?

– What?! …But? …How?

– Is there a God?

– Is Jesus “The Guy?”

– Is this game some huge allegory for organized religion?

– Where does the mother fucker that made this live?

– Can I see my lawyer now?