Gamer definition: Gamer who buys one game a year, usually either Madden or Call of Duty.

Real definition: Gamer who cares as much about gaming as he does any number of other activities. May include: Getting laid, drinking, eating cheetos, bitches, beagles,  flip cup, Ryan Seacrest, Iran-Contra, bitches, the second season of Stargate SG-1, or that girl on the cover of the last Vampire Weekend album.


Gamer definition: Massivly Multiplayer Online Role Playing Game.

Real definition: Facebook game that costs 15 dollars a month.


Gamer definition: Point value assigned to ‘that thing you did.’

Real definition: ‘That thing you did’ that someone decides to give you a plaque for.


Gamer definition: An activity that bored assholes partake in.

Real definition: See gamer definition.


Gamer definition: Messing with someone who takes their chosen game too seriously.

Real definition: Laughing at a hipster for insisting they actually like the taste of PBR.


Gamer definition: Repetitive task that needs to be done before continuing with the game.

Real definition: See gamer definition + possibility of unwanted boner.